Why is it so Hard for People to Change?
“Things get better by change, they don’t get better by chance”
But then for things to change, you have to change.
I’m reminded of a story from one of my mentors wanting to help one of his coaching clients…
Inner Barriers, Inner Glass Ceiling - Taboo Topics We don't want to talk about.
She said-
“Can you help me?- Yes, what do you want? - I want this and this and this…
Great, then all you have to do is XYZ - I can’t do that! - Why not? …
Because that wouldn’t be Me!”
Precisely - absolutely correct - that wouldn’t BE ME and that’s the problem!”
Because, what change is about is becoming NOT ME!
You can’t change and stay ME at the same time.
You’ve got to become ‘NOT ME’!
The world wants to keep you exactly as you are - Inertia (a tendency to do nothing or remain unchanged)
Your friends want you to stay exactly as you are because they have found out how to control you or manipulate you… and they don’t want you to become empowered.
Everything is against you changing but nether the less you want to change.
What does that mean?
Parts Integration
Part of me wants to change and do it and then there are other parts of me don’t!
And it’s those other parts that are in control…
We’ve got this idea that we are actually whole but we aren’t.
We are actually parts and the parts have agendas, different outcomes. One of the first things to do is get all the parts aligned and in agreement.
Get them aligned on what the outcome and goals are.
Going back to ‘NOT ME’! ...What does it take to be NOT ME?
In order to change we’re going to have to give up WHO we are in order to become what we want to BE…
In order to make $50K a month, you have to BEcome the person capable of making $50k a month…
You can’t STAY ME at the same time...You have to become NOT ME..
So who do you need to BEcome to have the business and the life you are looking for?
The general rule for change is to take small steps.
You want to start at a level where it’s impossible to fail, then increase the level of difficulty…
What’s in your mind is going to make an incredible difference.
Shifting perspectives...
Coach Helene